Woah?  Did you see that?   It was the entire calendar year of 2007 flashing before my eyes.

Yup, it’s been over a year since I last wrote.  Where did the time go?  Well, lets see…. I got pregnant, gestated and delivered another baby.  We moved to Maine.  All that and keeping up with T-Bone kept us busy pretty much like, all of 2007.  So sorry.  I won’t bore you with a full recap, instead we can just cover highlights.

January:  Attend Company Meeting in SF and make lame attempt to conceal embarrassingly rushed second pregnancy.   This is difficult because I was showing at 5 weeks.  Wear black, sip wine at dinner and feign drunkenness.

February through May:  As matter of survival, force T-Bone, who turned 1 in January ‘07, to sleep through the night.  Implement Self-declared Full Time Telecommuting, enabling me to further conceal pregnancy by not stepping foot in office for three straight months.   Took to napping with my blackberry.

April:  Announce pregnancy at work at 20 weeks.

May:  Husband graduates law school.  T-Bone, with stomach flu, poops herself moments after walking with husband to retrieve his diploma.  Move to Maine.

May through August:  Blissful summer in Maine.  Beaches.  Lobstah.  Blueberries. 

August:   Poop on a table in front of array of medical professionals; Baby #2 Arrives! [Side note: Blog name dilemma.  I am now Mom of “T” and “S”… so Bonnie MoTS?]

Sept through December:  Sleep chasing.   Interjected the phrase “Two under Two” into every conversation occurring between Aug 8th and January 16th.   

So that pretty much wraps up Two Thousand and Seven.  Hopefully I’ll be back sooner than a year from now, since there are no plans for Three [under Three], 2008 should be a little smoother.

I was reading one of my unmarried contemporary’s blogs the other day and marveling at how much action he can pack into a single day. Surfing at dawn (on a vicious hangover no less), a day of work and errands, partying again at night on the San Francisco social scene. Just reading it made me tired. How does he have the energy? Maybe I need to work out more, if only I had the time.

Then it dawned on me. We’re rocking hard here in the M.O.T. household too, harder, I would argue than any singleton in the Peter Pan city of San Francisco.

Think about it:

3 am we’re swinging a 25 pounder back to sleep. 5 am we’re negotiating a later wake up time. 6:30 am it’s no-holds-barred party in Mom and Dad’s bed (the best time of day I might argue). For Mom the rest of the day is non-stop. Tess takes a mini-egg omelet these days, Dad favors some sausage. By the time the nanny shows up we’ve put in a three hour shift. Then it’s time to log in for work. The next eight hours are rocking out some work stuff while occasionally dropping in on the baby for a visit. Evenings we’ve got dinner with the baby, splash fest in the bathtub, followed by a reading session with Tess, then more singing and rocking before bedtime for Tess at 7:00. Next up it’s dinner with Dad, squeeze in an hour or so more work stuff, maybe an hour to catch up on personal email and web stuff, then we’re crashing hard by 10 pm.

I would argue that if you took the baby out of the picture I’d be in better shape to party all night long than any well-slept, weight trained twenty-something. Seriously.

Anyone with just a smidgen of internet savvy would be able to figure out who We are. By “We” I mean us: me, my daughter, my husband, and any other random I post a photo of on this blog.

What difference does it make? None, really. Unless we were also either: i) professionals who are embarrassed that a co-worker might spy a photo of our sitz bath; or ii) an aspiring politician.

So I hesitate to post here. I have to do something about that. In the meantime I keep it G-Rated over at Tess’s Blog.

The funny thing is if any of us in this household were to run for office someday, what would they find on us? My greatest crime is self-absorption. Maybe that’s just bad enough.

One of the many things I have learned as a new parent is this: if ever I thought I was tired before having a baby, I was terribly, terribly wrong.

I hereby apologize to the universe for any time I gluttonously overslept and declared myself “so tired.” To be fair, I could never have known then what it meant to be truly, bone-achingly tired. And to any parents of two, or three, or more children, I know. I know you’re more tired than I am. Honestly, I have no idea how you do it.

During these eight odd months since having a baby, I’ve been continuously surprised by the new levels of Functional Fatigue that I’ve achieved. Yeah, pregnancy was tough. I had to pee at least three times a night (poor baby!). I whined about not being able to sleep without my pregnancy pillow (woe is me!).

Did I think I was tired that first night in the hospital after 9 months of pregnancy and 9 hours of labor? Sure. Did I think I was tired a week later after seven nights of all-night-nursing? Yeah. But that was nothing compared to two weeks of all-night-nursing. At 4 weeks post-partum I declared “I will die if I don’t get a good nights sleep!”

Guess what? I’m still alive.

Around Tess’s twelve week mark things started to settle down. But then I had to go back to work, and the night feedings continued. And four weeks of sleep deprivation turned into four months, turned into six months, going on nine….

So you can understand I might get a little teeny bit annoyed when I’m on a flight from SFO to Newark — just an ordinary afternoon flight mind you, not a red-eye — and a twenty-something childless woman declares woefully to the stewardess “I absolutely must be seated next to my husband, you see, I need to rest my head on his shoulder, it’s the only way I can sleep!,” because, you know, as she says “I’m really tired, and I have to work tomorrow!”

If looks could maul…

So anyway, Childless People: You are not tired. Trust me.

Mother of God the day I have feared most has finally come. A tragedy of haircare has struck the M.O.T. household.

You see I wasn’t always known for my glossy dark curls.

Once upon a time I was a homely child. My mother shorn my hair close to the temples — with uneven bangs no less — to tame my unruly mop. For years I was referred to as “that little boy over there.”

When I was old enough to shampoo and comb my own hair I insisted on growing it out to clearly establish my girlhood. Unfortunately I did not understand the nature of curly vs. straight hair or coarse vs. silky hair. So no matter how much I brushed and petted my mop it still stood in all directions.

I grilled my little girl friends with milky golden locks. “What do you wash it with?” One day I discovered Conditioner and I thought it was the secret to the universe. [Side note - did Conditioner even exist before 1978?] I applied more and more each time but the result was dull and clumpy mounds, but no milky tresses. How did they do it?

Over time my bushy mound grew longer and somehow around age 15 I discovered that my hair was not intended to be straight and milky, but in fact my massive mound was a pile of curls waiting to be set free. If I only stopped brushing the poor things into oblivion.

Around this time I discovered the Finesse line of hair care products. Quite by accident I believe. I probably picked up the first bottle because it was a clean blue color and I liked the smell. I then tried the Finesse Mousse. I discovered that the more mousse I used the better.

I carelessly tried other brands but by my freshman year in college I was a staunch Finesse Only Girl. Finesse Mousse is the ONLY PRODUCT ON THE MARKET that will form my curls into silky shiny ringlets without stickiness or weight.

In the late 90’s Finesse came out with Anti-frizz lines. Even better than the oririnal. Around 2002 they came out with a Soft Curls line (later known as Curl Defining) and I was convinced THEY WERE SPEAKING TO ME.

Women with curly hair ALWAYS ask me what products I use and when I tell them Finesse I can tell they aren’t going to try it because its a cheap drugstore brand. I pity them.

I estimate that from around 1987 through 2006 I have used somewhere in the region of several tons of, and spent in the thousands of dollars on Finesse Shampoo, Conditioner and Mousse. The Soft Curls Mousse must be a hot item because I have often found the space on the shelf where it is supposed to be empty, so when it’s in stock, I buy it in bulk. 2-3 “cans” of mousse at a time. When Soft Curls is out the Enhancing version will work almost as well.

Lately I’ve noticed the shortage of Soft Curls becoming more and more frequent. I’ve had to visit several different pharmacies to find one with FSC in stock.

And today my worst nightmare has come true. When I visited CVS this morning and scanned for the FSC products not only did I not find a the product, I didn’t even find the empty shelf space!

CVS had no Finesse products in stock, and if I’m reading the stocking tea leaves correctly, they have no plans to ever re-stock any Finesse products!!!!!!!!!!!

I rushed home to get on the internet to investigage, and lo and behold, Unilever, the EVIL company that purchased Helen Curtis in the mid-nineties has SOLD OFF the Finesse brand in May of this year. I can’t determine to whom it has been sold, but as far as I can tell this may mean that I cannot and will not be able to find Finess products for some time, and when they come back they may not even be the same.

Right now I’m in shock, but at some point I’m going to have to come up with an emergency hair care plan. Its hot and humid outside, and August without FSC Mousse could be a very, very long month.

Editors Note: I want to say that I did snag some Finesse Curl Defining Mousse at Duane Reade yesterday, three cans. For all I know perhaps only CVS has fully phased it out. But like with the death of a very famous old celebrity, or the outing of a clearly gay but closeted celebrity, now I have my “Fairwell to Finesse” article pre-written if and/or when it does finally leave the shelves forever.

My Husband and I have this running conversation about picking up money from the street.

It goes something like this:

Husband: “If you saw a penny on the street, would you pick it up?”

Me: “No”

Husband: “If you saw a dime on the street, would you pick it up?”

Me: “No”

Husband: “If you saw a twenty dollar bill on the street, would you pick it up?”

Me: “Hell Yes!”

You get the picure. We go back and forth until we determine that both of us would probably at least hesitate for as little as a quarter, but no less. And if no one is looking we most certainly would pick that quarter up.

So this morning my Husband is changing Tess’s diaper for the third time. The diaper is only marginally wet and he mentions in passing that everytime we throw out a minorly soiled diaper we’re throwing out about twenty five cents. A quarter in the trash every time.

So I ask my husband: “If you saw a quarter on the street, would you pick it up?”

His answer: “Yes.”

I ask: “Would you pick it up if it was covered in shit?”

I’ve finally come up a great money-making blog idea. It will be all about insanely adorable baby photos. Sort of like Cute Overload, Daily Puppy, or Hitler Cats .

Ok, so send me the cutest baby photo you can find, and I’ll post them.

I’ll call it “I’ll Be the Judge of That.”

Update: the blog name is now Bonnie M.O.T. Less pretentious, more Daughter of Scotia. What do you think?

I’m feeling out new blog names. I thought I found a good on in “My Mom’s Blog.” Tess would introduce me on her blog, super cute, yadda yadda. But apparently 80 year old Millie beat me to it. The young Millie looks strikingly like my own mother, but that’s another tangent for another day.

Then I threw around the expression “Mom of Tess,” but felt like there was something a little too Dr. Laura about that. But who am I kidding, it really is all about Tess. Right now I’m all about Tess, and being the Mom of Tess.

Mom of Tess.

M.O.T.

Bon mot. Pretentious?

Bon M.O.T. Better.

Le Bon M.O.T. Bad MOFO. M.O.T. Whatever. We’ll try it on for a while.

It’s been a while, I know. What is it now, July, almost August? And only now have I found myself with enough idle time on a Sunday morning to revive my yet-to-be-named MomBlog.

Tess is now 6 months old. Six months and two weeks to be exact, but we’ve stopped counting in weeks. Not that the weeks don’t make a difference, because they do.

In the two weeks since she turned 6 months she’s starting sitting up. Two weeks ago she was gagging red-faced on bananas. Now she’s smiling while she smears and actually swallows her bananas.

Work is still a distraction from Life with Tess. I don’t think this is any way to live — a full time job with an infant just does not work.

Anyway, let’s quickly recap the last three months. Since April 1…..

Tess became a crib napper. We hired Maggie, our nanny. Maggie learned the Tess routine which made Mom very very happy. Tess became a bottle drinker. She went from 2-3 oz per bottle up to almost 8 oz per bottle now.

I pumped at work. Tess was fed exclusively on breastmilk until her 6 month birthday (July 16th), when we introduced formula and I had a mini-break down over it. I felt useless for about thirty seconds until I realised I have a bazillion other ways to be useful to Tess. I stopped pumping at work!

About a week and a half ago Tess got Coxsackie (along with half of the infants in New York City). We took our first rectal temperature. We took another rectal temerature, we took another and another and another until Dad accused me of enjoying it.

Tess tasted rice cereal and was not impressed. Tess tasted oatmeal and ate way too much, got sick and didn’t touch it again for three weeks. Tess tried banana and the world was never the same again. Tess eats avacodo and banana in her Sassy Teether-Feeder and thinks she’s a big girl.

Tess learned to sit up. When she’s not sitting up she enjoys using her incredible thigh muscles (thank you exersaucer) to bounce like a jumping bean.

The dropped pumping sessions have apparently jump started Mom’s “system” and the result is not pretty.

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